Wednesday, August 6, 2008

What is "The Third Paragraph?"

When I was nine or ten I was on my yearly visit with my Aunt E. who was also my first writing teacher, confidante, analyst, therapist, coach, ally and all around remarkable influence. I had spent the previous summer at sleepaway camp and had written her a few letters. In one of those offhand moments that are seemingly innocent but seismic in impact, my Aunt said:"Ellie, I love the fact you wrote to me this summer but your letters should start on the third paragraph."

I looked at Aunt E. with surprise. "What do you mean?"

"Well, all of your letters began with "Hi. How are you? I am fine." It wasn't until you got to the third paragraph that the letters got interesting."

I remembered the vellum stationery I used that summer. And of course the hackneyed way I started the letters. Aunt E. was right...

My letters had started out dull and formulaic. They were predictable and pedestrian. I decided there and then to move to the grist as fast as possible so the reader would hear my voice and be compelled by the story.

I use the "third paragraph" rule for practically every form of communication whether it's emails, personal correspondence, voicemail, text messages...even blog entries. I even use the rule in conversations. I don't have interest in the superficial...I'm on the lookout for connections and real connectedness.

Not everyone can communicate on the third paragraph. For some people it's better to stay in the safer, less treacherous terrain of the banal. But if you're willing to take a risk, if you're willing to be real, you'll discover a richness of closeness and understanding that can only come when you start in the middle where the fun (and the pain) are waiting.

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