Friday, August 1, 2008

The Entitlement Problem

I stopped at the local health food store this morning to buy the ever fabulous Ecco Bella Vanilla Body Lotion and to share a few words (and laughs) with owner Alan R. His shop is located in one of those "strip malls" that one finds in suburbia and has recently welcomed two new upscale neighbors -- a very luxurious nail spa and a Java Brewing coffee house. I noted how the parking lot was quite filled and wondered aloud if a new type of clientele would be coming into Alan's store.

"They're coming," he said, "and they're brutal."

I knew immediately what Alan meant: The entitlement problem that's epidemic and probably pandemic at this point.

I wonder: Are you born with the entitlement gene or is it something you acquire? The reason I mention this is that it's a blind spot for anyone who's hoping to earn the kind of enviable reputation that money cannot buy. You earn it by faithfully and flawlessly demonstrating consideration and respect for everyone you encounter in the course of a day.

I define entitlement as this: Someone who shows a pronounced lack of interest in the feelings and concerns of someone else. An entitled individual will interrupt two people in conversation because waiting their turn simply will not do. Entitled people sashay, they do not walk. Entitled people see the world split between those that are served and those that serve. Entitled people do not understand boundaries since in their (distorted) minds they occupy a far greater swath of psychic space than those around them.

I know a lot of entitled people. And frankly they rub me the wrong way and I bet they rub a lot of people the wrong way. And eventually it will trip them up, derail their career trajectory, diminish their opportunities.

So I listen as shopowners and salespeople lament and complain but I know this: If I ever spot entitlement from anyone I coach with, I point it out and we work through it. Because I can get evangelical on the subject of "E" and why it needs to be erased from the face of the Earth. Like malaria.

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